You Had To Be There

Today marked two years since the bookstore I worked at for the majority of my young adulthood closed.  At 19 years old I applied for a part-time position that would help me pay some bills while I attended college. Never in a million years did I expect that I would spend over half a decade there or that it would turn out to be the place where I found my true voice.

I walked into that building a shy teenager eager to sell copies of The Giver to strangers. Though that particular ambition hasn’t fully disappeared, the introverted girl attached to it has not been seen in quite some time. I quickly got caught up in the magic of working in a bookstore, of being surrounded by coworkers and customers who were passionate about so many different things. They all made me see the world differently and because of that my life will never be the same. The strange thing is that after 7 years of working in the same environment day in and day out that magical feeling never went away.

I’m not saying that working retail was perfect; it was far from it. I fought with my fair share of customers, I had disagreements with staff, and there were certainly days when I thought about walking out the door and not coming back. But those instances were mere brushstrokes in the big picture of it all. For a quarter of my lifetime, Borders was my home and my coworkers my family. At the end of the day, that is what I will remember about my first “real” job.

These days I try not to bore people with the thousands of Borders anecdotes I could easily rattle off at a moments notice. Instead I hold them close to my heart and save the story telling for special occasions. Today was one of those days. I was extremely glad to have the day off from work so that I could reminisce in my own way. Even though most Wednesdays find me in the vicinity of my old workplace, this Wednesday felt especially nostalgic. I thought a lot about the many faces I came to know working for Borders and spent much of the day rehashing the most ridiculous scenarios I could remember.

I was glad to discover later on that some of my coworkers were going through similar emotions. You’d think that after two years, this anniversary wouldn’t mean as much, but the truth is I don’t think this feeling of loss is something that will every fully go away. For a brief period of time, I was part of something special and my coworkers and I knew it.

I guess you just had to be there.

This Is The End: Just The Beginning

In 1999, television changed forever when Paul Feig proved that a one-hour TV show could be both funny and sentimental. At 15, I suddenly found myself enthralled in the fictional lives of a bunch of outcasts struggling to survive high school. Along with producer Judd Apatow, Feig introduced us to a group of young actors who would go on to star in some of the biggest box office blockbusters of the last decade. At the time, they were simply a group of unknown, barely out of high-school kids getting their first break on a little show called Freaks and Geeks.

My devotion to this critically acclaimed, yet quickly canceled television show was instant and long lasting. Following its debut and way-too-soon finale, I spent hours telling anyone who would listen about the beauty that was Freak and Geeks. I made t-shirts promoting my infatuation that were covered in random one-liners and found a way to work quotes from the show into everyday conversations. My friends balked at the idea that I would rather spend the evening watching a heavyset, mutton-chopped stoner go to a laser light show than see Joshua Jackson take his shirt off on Dawson’s Creek.

They just didn’t understand what the draw was. Even now I have trouble verbalizing what made me fall in love with the quirky show. Back then, all I knew was that Jason Segal was more than a funny looking guy and there was something interesting behind the pretty face of James Franco.

Two years after its cancellation, I found refuge in Undeclared, a college comedy that would serve as the first of many collaborations between Judd Apatow and the Freaks and Geeks cast. Slightly more slapstick than its predecessor, Undeclared employed many of its cast members to as writers. Sadly, smart writing, hilarious visual effects, and the casting of Jay Baruchel and Charlie Hunnam could not save this hysterical show from meeting a quick end.

Two cancellations did not stop this group of actors from attempting to make lightening strike a third, fourth, and even fifth time. Today, both shows are often listed amongst the greatest comedies ever on television. Luckily for avid fans of the shows, their cancellations were not the end of the road. Over a decade later, cast and crew from both shows continue to work together to create television shows and movies that are funny and unlike anything else out there.

For proof of this, look no further than Seth Rogen’s directorial debut, This is the End, an apocalyptic adventure starring Rogen and Baruchel, who along with several of their former costars play exaggerated versions of themselves as they face the end of days. To the untrained eye, this film may seem like a mere vanity project, an opportunity for a group of friends to hang out and make a paycheck at the same time. Based off of a short made by the two actors 6 years ago however, This is the End, is actually a big pay off for fans of the duos decade and a half of work.

While the film focuses on many actors recently added to the group’s entourage, (Danny McBride and Craig Robinson), it also pays homage to the unsung sidekicks that the devoted have come to know and love. Though their screen time is limited, it’s a delight to see David Krumholtz and Martin Starr amongst the Guest list at James Franco’s mansion party which also includes cameo appearances from Mindy Kaling, Michael Cera, and Kevin Hart. The cast clearly has a good sense of humor, each actor taking a swing at their own ego throughout the movie. 

A mix of pure raunchiness and nods to the group’s personal history, make this a film for everyone simply seeking a laugh. Though not a full-fledged reunion, This is the End, sets to remind audiences where these guys came from. Perhaps the most heartwarming moment of the movie comes from James Franco who before exiting a room pats Seth Rogen on the shoulder exclaiming, “freaks for life!”

For life indeed, James Franco. When I first tuned into Freaks and Geeks all those many years ago, I never expected that I’d be sitting in a theater watching these actors in a full-length movie let alone a parody of their own lives. Sitting on the side lines not-so-silently cheering on each of their successes, it’s nice to see everyone triumph in their own way. This is the end is hopefully only beginning of the fun this group of comedians will have together. Even though the window of opportunity to provide audiences with new episodes of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared has long been shut, I am particularly excited to welcome in this new era of comedy at the hands of a bunch of previously “unknowns.”

Summer Movie Roundup: Take 1.

We are only a few days into June, yet the summer movie season is already well under way. Despite a pretty jam-packed schedule these days, I have done my best to keep up on all of the blockbusters, unnecessary sequels, and buddy comedies currently in theaters. What follows is a brief review of my most recent adventures at the cinema. Enjoy!

Star Trek Into Darkness:  Perhaps the most debated film of the season thus far, the second installment of J.J. Abrams Stark Trek reboot wastes no time introducing the big budget action sequences. it is clear from the first 2 minutes of te movie, that this sequel was designed to be watched in HD. Fans of the original series may take issue with some of the holes poked in the overall Star Trek lore by Abrams' time-line-destroying script, but as someone who has only seen a few episodes of any television show starring the crew of The Enterprise, I enjoyed this movie. Benedict Cumberbatch is a welcome addition to an already solid cast. The story is fast moving and visuals are at times breathtaking. I do wish that some of the supporting cast wasn't reduced to mere cameo roles (more John Cho!) If you liked J.J. Abrams first film, Into the Darkness is definitely worth a viewing.

Iron Man 3: Usually by the time a superhero makes it to their third film, the story feels like it's been told twice before. Luckily for fans of Tony Stark, Iron man 3 is an exception to the rule. Once again Robert Downey Jr. brings the egotistical Stark to life with a whimsical sort of reckless abandonment. Ben Kingsley is along for the ride as a terrifying madman with a hysterical twist. RDJ makes this movie anything but dull and proves that Iron Man is just getting started. In the case of Iron Man 3, the third time is definitely the charm!

Sadly the same can not be said about...

The Hangover Part III: Despite the return of the entire original cast, the final installment of this gross out ensemble comedy is seriously lacking. Compared to its previous installments, the finale is tame. The movie recycles jokes from the first two films and  provides the actors very little to work with. If you are a fan of this franchise, I'm sure you will be glad to relive Zach Galifianakis' crazy antics, however the talented cast involved here deserve better material.

Instead of being disappointed by a redundant sequel, seek comfort in the light, slightly predictable humor of...

The Internship: Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are back in action! Here they play down-on-their-luck salesmen attempting to brighten their futures by competing for a set a of internships at Google. The Internship is exactly what it seems from the commercials, and that's not a bad thing.  Vaughn and Wilson are dopey and charismatic. Together they help a pathetic group of outcasts rise to the challenge of Google's rigorous internship process. It is far from Shakespeare and not quite on par with Wedding Crashers, but The Internship is FUN. In an industry that seems to take itself too seriously these days, it was refreshing to see some familiar faces on screen  not trying too hard to win my approval. Vaughn and Wilson are a delight to watch, add in a game of Quidditch and a not-so-subtle Hook reference and The Internship makes for a perfect Saturday night film.


So there you have it my two cents on the films currently populating our summer movie screens. Agree or disagree let me know what your favorite films this season have been so far! Next up on this lady's film docket: This is the End!....and *maybe* Man of Steel.  What else should I being making  a date to see this summer?

My two Cents: Jason Collins

On Monday, Jason Collins, center in the NBA announced that he’s gay. Even though Collins has received positive support from various sources including professional athletes, celebrities, and even The President, overall reactions to his declaration have been mixed. Many have praised the athlete for his bravery; others have raged against the emphasis that has been put on this event.

Some have argued that by revering Collins for publicizing his sexual orientation, we are taking a step back in the human rights movement. Why should his sexuality be news at all? Many have suggested that by celebrating Jason Collins we are acknowledging that homosexuality is not an accepted part of our every day society.

Infuriated journalists ranging from sportscasters to political commentators have all weighed in on the subject. ESPN recently issued an apology in response to anti-gay comments made on air by sports reporter Chris Broussard during a segment on the NBA player. Ben Shapiro, editor of the conservative news site Breitbart.com took to Twitter to sarcastically muse, "So, Jason Collins is a hero because he’s gay? Our standard for heroism has dropped quite a bit since Normandy."

Jason Collins may not be a war veteran but he has undoubtedly shown great bravery this week. He spoke up when no one else was willing to. He did not have to share this aspect of his personal life with the world, and yet he did.  In doing so he subjected himself to harsh criticism and general negativity. Instead of lashing out at his critics or standing on a soapbox, the athlete simply focused on the positive support surrounding his admission.

I think that Jason Collins’ announcement is an encouraging step towards progress. Perhaps someday a person’s sexual preference won’t be newsworthy, but today it is. Personally I respect Mr. Collins candor. He is setting an example and acting as a role model not just for athletes, but for everyone to stand up and be themselves no matter the consequences.

So what’s the verdict? Is Jason Collins a hero or is the media simply turning his announcement into a bigger deal than it actually is? Whatever your opinion on the subject may be, the truth is this: Collins made history on Monday. He is the first openly gay pro athlete to address his sexuality publicly while still actively playing a sport. Whether this will have any impact on the future of professional sports is something we will have to wait to find out.

In the meantime, Collins’ words have already begun to have an effect on the world. Suddenly an industry that previously had been tight lipped on the subject of homosexuality was forced to acknowledge that once of its own is gay. Viewers checking their daily scores were instead presented with clips of a respected sports star sharing information that he decided should no longer be kept a secret. Personally I have already seen how his words have changed people’s perspective.

Tuesday, while hanging posters at work, I watched as a young man sat in front of a TV screen engrossed in a report on Collins. During the interview, Jason Collins acknowledged that he had worn the number 98 in 38 NBA games last season. He revealed that it was his silent tribute to Matthew Shepard, the 21-year-old gay student who was brutally beaten and left to die in Laramie, Wyoming in 1998.

 As I rearranged the announcement board in front of me, I heard the young man say, “holy shit.” I turned around to see that the he had a look a shock on his face. “Did you know that happened? That’s sick.” I did know it happened. I followed the Matthew Shepard story since its occurrence. Unfortunately, not many people are eager to rehash our country’s dark history with homophobia.

Yet, there I was on a Tuesday afternoon, 15 years later, hearing Matthew Shepard’s name in the media once more. Who knows how many people learned about his battle for the first time this week, all because of an NBA player? Jason Collins’ announcement may be a mere step on the long road toward acceptance, but it is a step nonetheless. And for now, I’ll take it.

I Will Not Go Gently

In September of 2009, I returned to school after a two year hiatus. After receiving my Bachelor's Degree in Child Study, I was shocked to wake up one morning and realize that my heart belong to another profession. Following a heated debate with myself I broke the unsurprising news to my family and friends that underneath my slight 4'11 frame, was the soul of a librarian.

The two years that followed that confession went by in a blur. Somehow in between working full-time, attending classes, and maintaining some semblance of a social life; graduation day came and went in a blink of an eye. Always the optimist, I truly believed that I would be presented with a job in my field immediately.

Reality quickly set in when my phone never rang. A few months down the line, life took another turn when the company I spent the majority of my 20's working for declared bankruptcy. Suddenly I was faced with the harsh truth that opportunities don't simply coming knocking on your door. Overnight I went from planning out my dream life scenario to trolling Craigslist for any full-time job that would help me pay down my student loans.

The worst part of the year and a half that followed was the uncertainty. Used to filling my days with school and work I found it difficult to adapt to having an extensive amount of free time. I had just spent last four semesters painting a picture for anyone who would listen of the definitive future ahead of me. Yet, less than 6  months after I donned that cap and gown, I had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow let alone a year later. 

Although I accepted every interview that I was offered, it took me over 9 months to get my feet wet at a local temp agency. During that span of time, I learned to keep myself busy. I started writing more, read a book a week, and became well-versed in the digital library that is Netflix. While discovering Doctor Who and having the opportunity to read the last book of The Giver Series in one sitting were the clear highlights of 2012, the year ultimately left me feeling more lost than I had ever been before. 

I was constantly at battle with myself, judging every move I made. If I stayed in bed a minute more than 8 hours, my inner monologue chastised me for being a freeloader. I constantly had to psych myself up to go out with friends, afraid of how it might look if I was seen having a good time while not working.

As time went on, I had my heart broken over and over as the rejection letters from prospective employers started piling up. More concerned with making ends meet than having my dreams come true at this point, I pretty much gave up on the idea of becoming a librarian. I had bills to pay and they needed to take priority. Short-term employment opportunities may have put less strain on my bank account, but they did little for my self esteem.

As I got farther away from the plans I had once made, I felt myself losing control. I couldn't get out of my own head and the relationships I had strived so hard to maintained began to fall apart. It took almost losing a friendship completely to truly wake me up. As 2013 loomed before me, I made the decision to "not go gentle into that good night."

I took a long hard look at the things in my life that were making me feel bad and decided to make some changes. The first step was the hardest one to take: I had to give myself a break. Instead of focusing on my shortcomings, I allowed myself to daydream again. I started scheduling my days with more than Gossip Girl marathons and set new goals. I eventually returned to the gym and got serious about getting healthy, I joined a writing group, and even gave myself a few hours off from stressing every day. Although these changes didn't happen over night, one thing became instantly clear: my heart still belonged to the library.

So even though the road I was headed down was no longer clear, I knew I had to drive through it even if it meant taking the long way around. Months of temporary jobs and false hopes followed and yet with the help of my family and friends I found my way back to the world of the living. These past two years may not have been the happiest of my life, but I believe they were necessary.  

The struggles I have faced remind me that the big picture is not black and white. It is colorful and not always easy to make sense of. Losing my direction, while devastating; also provided me with the opportunity to get to know myself as well as my loved ones on a whole new level. For that I am grateful.

Today I learned that a library that I had interviewed with recently decided to offer me a job. Exactly two years to the day from my graduation, I will take my first steps toward entering the career I have wished to be a part of for so long. I still don't know what's going to happen past next week, but I feel more prepared to face that uncertainty head on. 

To those of you who have seen me through the past two years, I thank you for sticking around. Despite everything, I have never laughed more than I have during this difficult time and it's all because of you. While my ultimate future remains ambiguous, I am hopeful. I have seen the good in the world around me and I am ready pay it forward. Here's to that long and winding road, may it be filled with good friends and an awesome soundtrack.

Rebel Wilson: Cutting The Fat In Comedy.

I will be the first to admit that I am not the best judge of what’s funny. At 8 years old, I believed Rob Schneider’s “Robmeister,” sketch on Saturday Night Live was the epitome of highbrow humor. Now 28, I still see just about every Adam Sandler movie in the theater.

That being said, I was raised on the likes of Monty Python, Mel Brooks, and Steve Martin. In my house Gilda Radner and Carol Burnett were considered performers of the highest honor. Through these comedians’ classic work, I learned that funny comes in many shapes and sizes.

In recent years I have been elated to see performs who don’t necessarily fit the conventional Hollywood mold hit it big on television and in movies simply by being funny. Seth Rogen, once the sarcastic sidekick in “Freaks and Geeks,” is now considered one of the most promising writers of this generation. Amy Sedaris and Rachel Dratch have transitioned their knack for making crazy faces into truly hysterical turns on television and movie screens alike. Several of today’s top rated TV shows are written by former cast members of Saturday Night Live. The current trends in comedy easily send the message that a person can be funny no matter how they look.

I suppose that’s why I was so disappointed to see how comedian Rebel Wilson handled hosting duties at tonight’s The MTV Movie Awards. Normally, I find her extremely funny. There is just something about the way she delivers the punch line that makes me crack up. Yet instead of relying on her natural ability to see her through, Wilson relied on jokes about her weight to get the laughs.

When introducing presenter Melissa McCarthy, she referred to her former costar as “another HUGE talent.” Was it really necessary for her to even hint at the state of the Bridesmaids star’s body? Both women are funny. Their weight has nothing to do with their ability to shine on screen. Yet turning to “fat” jokes in order to win the audience over, suggests that the only thing that sets them apart from other comedians is their size.

For all the progress comedians have made over the last few decades, it is sad to know that some performers are still hiding behind the easy laughs. Melissa McCarthy has a unique ability to keep a straight face no matter how absurd the character she is playing gets. This is what makes her a champ. It’s heart breaking to think that she may never walk across the stage without the words “big,” or “huge,” in front of her name.

The same goes for Rebel Wilson. Which makes it all the more disturbing that she made no attempt to use her hosting gig as an opportunity to prove that she can be more than the butt of the joke. Rather than take the high road, The MTV Movie Awards kicked off the night with Wilson calling herself fat with James Franco immediately confirming her declaration while repeating that nasty f word himself. Despite a rousing musical number and a fun piece that showed the host using an x-ray koala from her Australian homeland to investigate the contents of different celebrity’s bags; the jokes always circled back to the weight issue.

Tonight should have been a celebration of a young comedian’s talent. After all being part of one of the top grossing comedies of all time at the age of 27 is no small feat.  Instead, the actress’ time on stage consisted primarily of jokes that made fun of her figure. It's a shame really, Rebel Wilson has the talent and charisma to succeed but instead of raising the bar for other comedians she chose to go for the easy laugh.  Because of this I found the show to be unoriginal and honestly a little mean. In a world where individuals are bullied every day for being different, it’s disappointing to witness someone who is in a position to make a difference choose to give in to pressures of negativity

Off Stage Drama Can't Keep "Orphans" Down

Weeks shy of entering previews, the latest adaptation of Kyle Lessler’s “Orphans” received a sudden influx of attention when Shia LaBeouf publicly exited the production in early March. Many wondered about the future of the show that also was set to star Alec Baldwin, fresh off his 7 year engagement playing Jack Donaghy on “30 Rock”; and English actor, Tom Sturridge. Could “Orphans” survive the abrupt casting changes so close to opening night? The answer is an astounding yes!

Rather than halt production, Ben Foster who had previously auditioned for the play; was tapped to step into the role of Treat, a menacing petty thief struggling to support his emotionally damaged brother. With Foster in place, the small cast of three has come together to present a show that is passionate and dripping with raw emotion. Even with its dramatic themes, the trio revels in the humorous moments of script, creating an unexpectedly playful atmosphere throughout the show.

The updated cast creates a unique balance amongst themselves where no one actor is trampling over another to have their moment on stage. If anything, the three men play off each other, adding a further level of depth to these complex characters. With the entire story set within the small-dilapidated row house of Treat and Philip, the stage design is kept to a minimum. The cast makes the most of the sparse setting, especially Tom Sturridge who turns the stage into his own personal jungle gym. Without flashy sets, the play relies solely on the intense performances its actors all of whom shine in their respect roles.

Dark and at times unnerving, “Orphans” follows the lives of two adult Orphans whose world changes forever when the violent, unpredictable Treat (Foster) kidnaps a self-made millionaire, Harold (Baldwin). The story unfolds as the audience is introduced to Philip (Sturridge), who under the firm hand of his older brother has spent the majority of his life as an illiterate shut-in unable to tie his own shoes. As a result of their abandonment at a young age, Treat has forced Philip to live out his own lost childhood by forcing him to fear the world beyond their front door under the ruse of a severe allergy to the air outside. Enter Harold, an orphan in his own right, who quickly frees himself from Treat’s restraints only to decide to stick around to provide his kidnappers with the encouragement they’ve always been denied.

As Philip, Sturridge literally swings onto the set, radiating innocence as he cascades his body, primate style; across the stage. In a very thoughtful performance, Tom Sturridge tells much of Philip’s story through movement. Between his subtle hand gestures and his unwillingness to touch the ground for the first fifteen minutes of the show, the actor immediately demands the audience’s attention. Although many of Philip’s lines are met with laughter, Sturridge manages to earnestly illuminate the young man’s struggle to enter the world that he has so long been sheltered from. 

Despite being the closest thing to a villain that the play has, in the hands of Ben Foster, Treat becomes the tragic hero: a vulnerable “dead-end kid,” whose driving force in life is to keep his brother safe. Treat playfully enters the story jumping into an on going game of tag with Philip who has not stepped outside in 15 years. While coaxing his brother to disclose whether or not he’s eaten that day, Treat quickly reveals that he’s stabbed a man in a near by park. At the hands of the Charismatic Harold, Treat is given the opportunity to parlay his aggression into a lucrative career.

Faced with having everything he’s ever wanted, Treat begins to unhinge as he comes to the realization that he no longer his brother’s soul provider.  Throughout the play, Treat toes the line between compassion and blind rage as he comes to terms with losing his life’s purpose. Ben Foster is the wildcard of the cast, keeping the audience guessing as to just how far Treat’s anger will carry him. Purely terrifying at times, Foster provides the show with a unique energy that never falters.

The only Broadway veteran in the cast, Baldwin oozes confidence as a successful man with a mysterious past. Harold is a dynamic force; hell-bent on cleaning up the lives of the two orphans in whom he sees so much of himself.  Although the audience is never given much insight into Harold’s past, Baldwin plays the role with a distinct honesty that is both forceful and heartbreaking. It is refreshing to see Baldwin jump into such a powerful role so shortly after the end of his television tenure. From the second he steps on stage, it is obvious that this is exactly where the actor wants to be.

It will be tragic if the only press that this production receives is from the drama surrounding the last minute cast changes. In this particular instance, one actor’s loss is an entire production’s gain. Foster, Baldwin, and Sturridge thrive on stage together. The Actors deserve special attention for their dedication to this work. Currently in previews, the “Orphans” cast is gamely using this time to prefect their performances. Even as they work out the few remaining kinks, the energy on stage is electric. The show officially opens on April 18^th, hopefully to great fanfare. Theatergoers looking for an experience that is engaging and different should set aside time to see “Orphans.”

For more information on "Orphans," visit the shows website: Orphans On Broadway